I knew I had written down Joey's birth story somewhere. It is still painful for me to remember 8 years later. I found this I wrote when he was in the NICU.
So on April 3rd, I went into an appointment with my OB that had been moved up because of the appointment I had with the high risk specialist the day before, who recommended that I be induced before 40 weeks because of my blood pressure and asthma complications and if I went past 40 weeks he thought they'd definitely continue in their downward movement and put my life and the baby's life at risk. Plus i was still violently barfing dozens of times per day from the HG. The thing was, my OB still had April 20th as my due date - but the specialist had April 5th. I was sure of my ovulation date from charting and I knew the April 5 date was accurate. Anyway, we went into this appointment and I was quite nervous about having to argue about the dates and things, because I KNEW this baby was ready to be born, and I think considering all the bedrest and health problems my entire pregnancy has brought me, I had been very patient until this point. I brought my hubby with me just in case I needed him. Anyway, we sat down and discussed, my blood pressure was up to 155/105, I am sure was partly anxiety. She said she'd check to see if I'm dilated at all, and that would determine if and when they induce, because she'd really like to avoid a c-section and if they induce me with my cervix totally closed, the chance of needing a c-section would be much higher. so she checked me and I was 3 cm and 50 percent effaced. She decides to send me to the hospital and induce me right then, especially given my blood pressure this morning. She had a little squabble about the dates for a bit, and then was like, you know this isn't really professional, it doesn't matter, by any of the dates he's considered full term, and by the last ultrasound (done the day before), he's 8lbs 4oz, so already plenty large.
we go over to the hospital, check in at 11:15am, and get settled in the room. my MIL came over to stay with me while my husband ran home and got my hospital bag and a few other things and gave our dog one last walk from him (his brother took care of her while we were in the hospital). they started me on pictocin at 12, which started up the contractions - I could feel them, but they weren't painful, just uncomfortable, which was good since my MIL was still there. my hubby got back about 2:30, my MIL went back to work, and then at 3 my OB came in a broke my water. The combination of my water breaking and the increase in the pictocin made my contractions get long and strong and very painful very fast. I literally went from smiling one contraction to crying the next because it was such a drastic change and hurt so bad. My diastolic number on my blood pressure went nuts at this point, up to 215/124 at the highest. As I had pre-discussed with my OB, I would have an epidural because of my high risk for needing a c-section and we needed to avoid general anesthesia if at all possible because of my asthma - she would not have even agreed to a trial of labor without this ridiculous agreement. So they called for the anesthesiologist at this point, and prepared to give me the epidural at about 4:30. I was literally shaking and crying from the pain and nothing my husband or the nurse did could calm me down. They decided to unplug the pictocin drip while they did the epidural to lessen my pain some (or at least prevent it from increasing). Even without the pictocin, my contractions continued to be very painful. I sat on the edge of the bed leaning on the nurse who was way too damn short and tiny (Rob tried to stand to let me lean on him and they wouldn't let me husband stand there for risk he'd faint or something which turned out to be BS because after an hour of them trying, my husband gave up on sitting anyway). The first anesthesiologist tried 8 times with the epidural needle and couldn't get it into the spaces. She kept hitting my spine and it hurt like HELL and i was just screaming and screaming. So I was constantly restuck with more numbing medicine, and then stabbed until I screamed when she hit my bone. She also didn't look at the monitor, and was practically timing when she got to my spine with the peaks of my contractions, which was god-awful. They paged the senior anesthesiologist, who said he was in the OR and would be up there as soon as he could. They tried to lay me back down, and he was up there in about 10 mins. He was bitchy and grumpy when he got there and was like "Let's do this now, I don't have time for this Shit!" well, he did a much better job poking at me when I wasn't contracting, but it still took him four tries before he got it in. when he finally got it in, I was so relieved because i was shaking beyond all other and had felt like I was going to puke/faint multiple times. My back looked like (and still looks like) swiss cheese.
Shortly after, I wasn't feeling the pain from the contractions as badly, but my BP was still very high and i was having labored breathing. They gave me medication for my blood pressure through my iV, and steroids for my asthma. They also gave me my regular dose of medications for the evening. The OB came in and checked me around 9:30pm and I was dilated to 5 cm and 90 percent effaced. They had me lay on my left side and put in a catheter so I didn't have to move or get out of bed unnecessarily. i had agreed to get the damn epidural so she would "let" me try labor, but did not use it except for that first dose of meds that came through. I didn't want me or my baby to have that crap. at 11 I closed my eyes and rested for about an hour, remembering that rest and relaxation was the best thing to help my body progress. I woke up at 12:15 with intense pressure and pain at the peak of my contractions, so i pressed the call button, the nurse came in and checked me and surprisingly, I was fully dilated and ready to push. We spent about an hour pushing before they paged my OB, who came over, and i pushed through four more contractions with her there and baby joseph was born at 2:03am on April 4th. my holy Thursday baby. She put him on my tummy when he was born and he was so beautiful, and screaming his little head off, too. Robby cut the cord, and they took joey over to the bassinet that was about 3 feet away from me, and i could still see almost everything without my glasses on. Robby wandered back and forth between me and baby for the next few minutes. Joey's first apgar was 7, because he was having low shallow breathing, but the next one was a 9. He weighed 8lbs, 3.9oz and was 24.2 inches long. I had a second degree tear, and my OB began to stitch me up. She evidently did not believe that I hadn't used the epidural meds and started to stitch me up with no numbing agent.She said she could give me numbing agent, but was almost done anyway, so I bit my tongue through about 1 minute of stitch pain to avoid another shot. My first memories of Joey are accompanied by me crawling up the table screaming from her stitching me. Ergh. Joey continued to cry the whole time they assessed, measured, and cleaned him up. My OB joked that he was crying because it "wasn't his due date" and i said, yup, not either of them, haha.
They handed joey to robby, and the look on robby's face was the best memory ever. It was the moment i wished we had someone else in the birthing room so they could've taken a picture. At first it was like, "Oh Shit, they gave me this baby, and he's screaming, and I don't know what to do." Robby started to talk to him, and rub his back, and sure enough, he stopped crying. Then there was this look of relief on Robby's face that said "Hey, maybe I can do this..." Robby sat in a chair next to me holding joey while they finished my stitches, and then he handed him to me to nurse. He wouldn't latch on right away, but we squeezed out some colustrum, and he seemed more interested but wouldn't latch. I found out that the hospital has this weird policy that you have to nurse the baby full wrapped up, which joey didn't like, and his hands were so close to his mouth it was getting in the way and impeding him being able to latch. I had two nurses at this point for me, because one was being trained (was an OB up in indiana for 30 plus years before moving here though). About an hour later, the nurse trainee came in and unwrapped joey and put him skin to skin with me and helped me get him to latch and told me that if any of the other nurses saw me feeding, just say I decided to do it myself. Which was a huge relief because he nursed for about 5 mins and I felt we all could finally rest. They came in shortly after, recorded that he fed, and helped me out of bed and changed my sheets, and helped me clean up in the bathroom. The nurse gave joey his first bath, and showed robby how to bathe him. It was about 6am by this point, and joey was sound asleep, so rob and I slept too, for almost 3 hours. My OB came in and checked me and said I was looking very good. My blood pressure was back to normal and I was back to just my control-inhalers for asthma (hooray!) And I was barf free for the first time in forever.
the first day we spent pretty much enjoying joey, and resting as much as possible. Robby's mom, dad, brother, grandma, and his brother's gf all came to meet joey. His grandmother's reaction to him was the sweetest. All of the nurses raved about what a beautiful baby he was, how his features were perfect, like a doll, and said robby and I make pretty babies. lol. That first night was really rough, because I had the rudest nurse in the world that insisted I give him formula because I was starving him because my milk hadn't came in yet, but I refused and stuck to my wishes and intuition, he was nursing very well for about 15 mins every 1 1/2 hrs so I knew he was doing good. The next day, my OB came in and asked if I wanted to go home today or the next day, and I said today, I'd be way more comfortable at home. When we checked out, joey was borderline for needing to be treated for jaundice, his levels were at a 9.4 and he was at 8lbs (only had lost 4 oz, which was very good for EBF babies I was told), so we were to bring him in on saturday for a weight check and blood work to check his bilirubin levels.
Saturday we brought him in, and his levels had gone up to 17.2 and he had lost ten percent of his body weight (don't remember the exact weight). They said though, since he was feeding so well and urinating and pooping that they wouldn't admit him until it got to 20, so they sent us home, and told us to give him formula after he was done breast feeding just to make sure he was getting enough milk from my breasts. well, we gave him formula the first time around 6pm, after he had nursed for 45 mins (my milk came in earlier that day). He fussed at the bottle, and did not want to take the formula, but as instructed we "forced" him to take as much as he could. We barely got him to take 1/2 an ounce. He fell asleep, and when i tried to rouse him about 1 1/2 hrs later to feed, I noticed he had hives ALL OVER his body, and I flipped out. I told robby to call the hospital and find out what to do, and they gave him shit like we were complaining they made us give him formula, which we were in a way because it made him sick - but we HAD followed their advice and done it, because we wanted him to get better. Robby went to the hospital and got hypoallergenic formula, and I put cool compresses on joey to relieve some of the hives. I stayed up the first half of the night waking him and feeding him, doing everything I could to get him to eat as much as possible. He rarely would take the formula after he nursed, and when he did it was 1/4 to 1/2 an ounce.
we brought him back into the hospital sunday for his weight check and blood work, and they told us we had to wait, because he looked like he needed to be admitted. His levels came back and they were just over 20. He had gained 4 oz from the day before though, which was very good. They still needed to admit him though. I've never been so sad in all my life, and cried when they took him to put him into the nicu. I knew that lots of newborns got jaundiced, and he'd be fine, I just didn't like the idea of leaving my 4 day old baby alone in the nicu for all that time. They said I could stay at the hospital, but the room was so far away from the NICU and I was only going to be allowed to go in to see him to feed him, and even that they would only let me do a partial feeding for every other feeding. So basically, I'd get to see him every 6-7 hrs for about 20 mins, the rest of the time they'd bottle feed him while he's under the UV-lights. I decided it would be too hard for me to sit in another hospital room and know I can't be with him. I cried so hard when we left him there. I got home, and expressed about 4 ounces of breast milk. Robby and I went to walmart and drove around to waste time and distract me, mostly. We came back to the hospital for his 8pm feeding, which I wasn't even sure if I could handle emotionally but I wanted to breastfeed him, and hold him even if it was only for 20 mins. Robby and I scrubbed in, and my skin started to break out in hives from the soap they had us use. I noticed my skin was a little red, but didn't think it was much besides stress or a little bit of sensitivity. They took him out, and handed him to me, and set a timer for 20 mins. within 30 seconds, my skin turned bright red all over and started to itch and burn. I was trying so hard to get him to latch though, because I wanted him to BF while I was there, but I know he sensed how i was feeling. my husband asked the nurses if they could get me benadryl, and they couldn't, I'd have to go to the Er. well, I had some in the car so robby ran downstairs to get it, and 3 or 4 nurses started laying cool compresses on me and ice packs and giving me water to drink. I finally got joey to latch, and he was nursing like a champ, but I was shaking all over from the itching and burning and felt like i was going to puke. Robby got back up and gave me the benadryl, and I started to improve - at least, not get worse anymore. Joey's time was almost up so I had robby support my arm holding him so he could nurse and I wouldnt drop him because of my shaking and swelling from my allergic reaction - it turns out the soap had iodine in it, which I am very allergic to. He finished, and robby took him and put him back under the lights, and the nurse came and set him up with his mask and everything, and fed joey the bottle, which he only took about 3/4 of an ounce, so considering - he didn't do that bad nursing. I sat and tried to cool my skin off, and started to feel better some, and sat there with joey until I felt good enough to walk (they didn't want me to go until I felt better - which was kind of good because normally they would have made me go after the 20 mins.) We left, and i started to feel better but was still sad about leaving him there all night. They had done another blood test right before we came, so we planned to call before we went to sleep to find out what it was.
we went to my in-laws at 9pm, and had easter dinner - and opened presents from friends that had been there that night expecting to get to meet joey. We got home, and called the NICU, his tests had shown that it had already dropped to 14.2 -- which was really good... so I have high hopes I'll be able to take my baby home when i go there shortly this morning, but I have more expressed breast milk just in case they say i can't, but I sure hope that won't be the case. Saddest Easter ever.
Edit 3 days later: My Joey is home! His levels were 10.3 at 7 this morning. They did one more draw when we left, but we didn't have to stay for the results since it was so low this morning. He goes on Friday back to the nicu for a recheck to make sure it hasnt came back. I am just thankful to be able to hold him and nurse him again - without a timer and mean nurses breathing down my neck.
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